Why we pray for our loved ones who have died

Traditionally the month of November is a month that we focus on praying for our deceased loved ones.  November 1st is All Saints Day, formerly called All Hallows Day.  You can easily see how the evening prior to All Hallows Day would become known as All Hallows Eve, or Halloween.  November 2nd is All Souls Day.  It is the day that we specifically focus on praying for loved ones who have died.
I would like to clarify what we believe.  We believe our prayers cannot help anyone who has died and been condemned.  Also, those who have died and been taken to heaven do not need our prayers.  Our prayers are in fact helpful to those who have died and WILL go to heaven.
In Revelation 21:27 St. John is having a vision of heaven, and he says, “Nothing unclean can enter there.”  Jesus himself tells us to, “Be perfect as your Father in heaven is perfect.”  See Mt 5:48. I am not going to get into heaven until I am perfect.  That is a high bar, but Scripture is clear.  So, what happens to me if I am a disciple of Jesus, but I am not perfect?  I can’t go into heaven because nothing unclean can enter there.  But I am a disciple of Jesus, admittedly an imperfect one.  Will God send me to hell for minor imperfections?  We believe that God has a plan that would allow us to become perfected of our minor imperfections, even after death.  That state or place is Purgatory. 
We pray for people who have preceded us in death precisely because we do not know their fate.  If they are going through a process of being perfected our prayers can assist them.  We certainly would not hesitate or question praying for a friend who is going through treatments for cancer.  The idea is the same here.  We pray for the those who have preceded us in death in case they are being perfected.  Surely being perfect involves some discomfort or even worse.  Let us pray for our fellow Christians in this time of need!
— Pat Arensberg is the Director of the Office for Evangelization and Family Life. Email him at [email protected] For more information concerning the events of this office, visit us at mobilefaithformation.org