Let us never define ourselves, others by desires

Who am I?  I guess we have all asked ourselves that at some point in our lives.  In our culture we tend to answer this question by communicating what we do.  That is problematic.  What I do is not who I am.  There is certainly a correlation, but they are not the same.  
I notice this in the confessional. “Bless me father for I have sinned … I did this and I did that …”  The sin is not who I am; it is what I did.  There is a built-in separation between me and what I did.  I am not suggesting that I am not guilty of doing it, but I am saying that the action does not define who I am.  The action is something I did, but it is not who I am.  Satan wants us to be defined by the bad things we do.  Jesus seeks to affirm our dignity as a son/daughter of God.
It also dawns on me that when we identify as gay or LGBT we again are allowing ourselves to be defined not by who we are or even what we do or have done.  Rather, we identify who we are by revealing our affections or desires.  Sorry, this is not healthy.  I do not go up to people at parties and introduce myself as a “yellow-cake with chocolate icing’er.” Loving yellow-cake with chocolate icing is not who I am.  It is a fact about ME, but it is not me.  To diminish my personhood into a series of my desires or attractions is extremely limiting and not respectful of my humanity.  It does not properly account for the fact that I AM a son of God.
Every one of us is a son/daughter of God.  We all have desires that are good, and we all have desires that are not good.  The fact that I desire something does not mean that it is appropriate for me to act on that desire.  Nor does the presence of that desire constitute sin on my part.  It is not sinful to have sinful desires.  We all have them; welcome to fallen humanity.  Let us not allow ourselves to be defined by our desires and let us never define others by their desires either.
— Pat Arensberg is the Director of the Office for Evangelization and Family Life. Email him at [email protected] 
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