As an athlete, I was constantly figuring out the best role for myself to help my team achieve success. The best coaches that I played for would guide me through this process along with my teammates because the team results were the most important objective.
In basketball, there were games where I put up a lot of shots and games in which I did not shoot at all. During a summer league one year, I averaged almost 50 points a game but we won only 1 game. I was disappointed because of the team’s results.
In football I wanted to play quarterback and on the baseball diamond I wanted to play shortstop. These were important positions and I wanted the responsibility but I sometimes struggled with the realization that I was not the best person on the team to play these positions.
When I became a coach, it was important for me to help players identify their role on the team and set them up for success.
Sometimes players can be put in a role and they can never get out of that role. For example, a player that is very tall in middle school might be a center on the basketball team.
If that player does not develop skills for other positions, other players might catch that player in height but the player will fall behind in skills and be at a disadvantage on the court. It was my job to help each player develop and expand their role on the team.
When I started in ministry there were two traits that I brought with me that were contrary to my experience as a player and a coach. I would try to do everything so that I did not bother other people and I was disappointed if I did not get the accolades for an idea or project. By not bothering people, I thought I was doing everyone else a favor. My disappointment came from a need to be seen as a leader. Both of these traits were different types of selfishness on my part and I became a better minister when I realized that I needed to be selfless.
When I would do everything and take on more and more responsibility, two things would happen. This mentality would keep people from becoming more involved because they would feel like they were not needed. It also kept some people from growing in their role as part of the parish and growing in their faith. By doing this, I unwittingly set an example of a few people in the parish doing most of the work and sometimes feeling like a martyr. I would like to say this came to me all of a sudden, but it actually took a while to understand my role in the parish and help others develop their role.
“Leadership is your ability to impact someone else for their benefit.” — Nick Saban, Head Football Coach, University of Alabama
It is very important that we help each other find our roles in the parish and in the Church by encouraging and supporting each member. We can learn the gifts and talents of individuals, invite them to different ministries and committees in our parish and put them in the best possible position to succeed. We can set an example of working as a team in the parish and creating a culture of collaboration. We can set aside our need to be recognized and instead give all of the glory to God! By helping each other grow in faith we empower each other to live our faith through service to the Church and to others.
— Tex Phelps is the Director of the Office of Youth and Young Adult Ministry for the Archdiocese of Mobile. He may be emailed at [email protected] Visit our website, www.ArchMobYouth.org Like us on Facebook at facebook.com/ArchMobYouth and follow us on Twitter and Instagram - @ArchMobYouth