Mother's Day is just around the corner. There are a lot of opportunities for us to spend money, but I think that most moms really want their children close by and they want to spend time with them.
My mother died in 2005. I was a fully-grown man. I felt her loss deeply, and I still do. Grief never really goes away, but it seems to morph into a more manageable, dull ache as opposed to the intense pain of loss we first experience.
Moms hold such a special place for us. I recall watching my wife, Connie, sitting at the dining room table during our first pregnancy. We had finished eating and were just sitting there talking and also being quiet. At one point I looked at her and she had her hands cupped under her pregnant abdomen. She was in communion with our first child in a way I can only imagine. The intimacy was palpable. I love my children. I spend time with them. I sacrifice for them. I protect them. But I have never had one of my children growing inside of me, and dependent on every heartbeat of mine to sustain their life. Connie’s contentment at the dining room table was awesome to behold.
But, even after giving birth, “mom” seems more comfortable just being with the children. Dad, or at least me, is always doing something. I am more about “doing” and mom seems to more be about “being”. I recall one summer while I was still teaching in our schools. Connie had a 12-month position with the Mobile County Public School System. I was looking forward to having the summer with our first 2 children; both girls and aged four and two years old. The first day that I was alone with the girls I made breakfast and we played. We read books. We took a little walk in the double stroller. After all of this activity I was about ready for my wife to get home … It was 9:45 a.m.
Don’t get me wrong — I loved my kids, and still do. I am just saying that being home alone all day with them was not life-giving to me. At the end of the day I felt like I hadn’t accomplished anything. Conversely, when Connie spent or spends a whole day with our children she feels like she accomplished something fantastic. And you know what? She is right. Moms rock!
— Pat Arensberg is the Director of the Office for Evangelization and Family Life. Email him at [email protected] For more information concerning the events of this office, visit us at mobilefaithformation.org